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crockpotcauldron) wrote2019-03-13 11:53 am
crockpotcauldron) wrote2019-03-13 11:53 am
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Book Review: Dark Moon by Lori Handeland
The cover has a holographic silver title and five purple wolves on it, so I figured I was in for a good time.
Friends, I was in for a mediocre time.
This book is a paranormal romance, so there's a little bit of werewolves and a lot of fucking. Sometimes both - one time they're going for third base while driving, and they run over a werewolf. Anyway, our protagonist, Dr. Elise Hanover, is a (secret werewolf) scientist trying to cure lycanthropy. Her love interest is formerly her college boyfriend, and currently FBI Agent Nic Franklin, here to investigate some woofs. Not a bad setup! Not only do they have some sexual tension and angst, but they also have great believable chemistry from having already dated and fucked. Much more satisfying than insta-lust. I gotta say, this is one of the few romance novels I've read where the protagonist seems genuinely attracted to her love interest. She's not just on fire with generic horniness and desperate to be touched, she's drooling over the way his chest hair curls around his nipples and wistfully remembering how she used to jerk him off. It's refreshing to see a protagonist express attraction to a man's body, and not just ye olde hard glistening abs. The actual sex scenes, though... "One deep thrust and I was no longer a virgin. The werewolf thing was going to be a little harder to get rid of." Ouch.
On the paranormal romance angle, this story is several books into a series, and you can tell. The previous protagonists are hanging around all coupled up and lovey dovey, taking up way too much page space with their cameos and rivalries and drama. And you can kinda tell the author was not prepared to write Dr. Woof as a protagonist - she forces a sudden character change from her "ice queen" personality in previous books to a warmer, funnier, more emotionally volatile persona, because judging from the ex-protagonists hanging around, that's the perspective Lori Handeland is comfortable writing from. The leader of the organization is also experiencing the same abrupt character changes as he gets more pagetime and relationships. It was pretty awkward.
How about the paranormal half of paranormal romance? Unfortunately, the werewolf science is just not much good. I can respect the virus angle... but you gotta actually say science words besides making up a cover story "studying a new strain of rabies in the wolf population" and saying "I had invented a serum that eased a werewolf's craving for human blood on the night of a full moon. As well as a counteragent that eradicated the virus if the victim was injected before their first change." For starters, these werewolves are a magic-science hybrid - they live forever, and they are indisputably Evil because they have a demon spirit of rage inside them or some shit. Not sure why the secret monster hunting organization bothered having the scientist come up with science to cure magical demon bloodlust, really. You would think they'd have a witch on staff for that. The serums and counteragents and shit are basically written as potions anyway. Anyway, the whole werewolf science thing wound up being a wash - she gets a magic wolf talisman that helps her transform effortlessly, and after having a soul-melding near-death experience she suddenly comes to terms with being a werewolf and develops the magical ability to de-woof any werewolf (virus and demon and everything). This was absolutely not what I signed up for with a werewolf scientist protagonist.
This book is another entry in the Sterile Werewolves category, incidentally. For no particular reason - they're just like "werewolves can't breed." Didn't even throw out an excuse about chromosomes. Our protagonist, Dr. Woof, is the very first born werewolf, because her pregnant mom got bitten in the stomach and went into early labor. Lycanthropy via amniotic fluid is a new one - or did the werewolf bite the placenta? No idea, it's very vague. Dr. Woof grew up perfectly human and non-evil, until falling in love in college apparently changed her body chemistry enough to turn her into a werewolf. See what I mean about the science being extremely dodgy? Anyway, I've come up with a more plausible reason why werewolves don't breed - in this book, every time a werewolf touches a werewolf, they get a strong static shock zap of "hey, that's a werewolf." I'd say there are no puppies because nobody wants to get zapped.
The really frustrating part of this book for me was the worldbuilding - so many good ideas, and absolutely no follow-through! The book says werewolves prefer to live in packs... and every werewolf in the book is alone, with no pack structure or social life. The book says real wolves and werewolves don't get along... and real wolves are never relevant to the plot. The book says werewolves and crows work together... but never shows a werewolf interacting with a crow. The book drops tantalizing hints about familiar spirits that turn human when you are a wolf... but goes into no detail. It feels like this book intended to be a way cooler werewolf book, but never dishes out more than a soundbyte of werewolf lore. There's a big dramatic reveal when Dr. Woof transforms in front of Agent Hottie and runs away, and then... they just has a conversation later when she's human, to the tune of "eh, you're still cool even if you are furry some amount of the time." He does not look her in the eyes while she is a wolf and acknowledge her humanity or his affection, or how cool werewolves are. He doesn't throw sticks for her while she's a wolf, or buy a fleacomb. I feel like if you're dating a werewolf, you gotta sign on for the whole package, you know?
Ah well. It was a good way to pass the time, and I had some entertaining conversations with my friends. Those five purple wolves never showed up and hung out with each other. A lot of things never showed up in this book. Three stars, I guess?
Friends, I was in for a mediocre time.
This book is a paranormal romance, so there's a little bit of werewolves and a lot of fucking. Sometimes both - one time they're going for third base while driving, and they run over a werewolf. Anyway, our protagonist, Dr. Elise Hanover, is a (secret werewolf) scientist trying to cure lycanthropy. Her love interest is formerly her college boyfriend, and currently FBI Agent Nic Franklin, here to investigate some woofs. Not a bad setup! Not only do they have some sexual tension and angst, but they also have great believable chemistry from having already dated and fucked. Much more satisfying than insta-lust. I gotta say, this is one of the few romance novels I've read where the protagonist seems genuinely attracted to her love interest. She's not just on fire with generic horniness and desperate to be touched, she's drooling over the way his chest hair curls around his nipples and wistfully remembering how she used to jerk him off. It's refreshing to see a protagonist express attraction to a man's body, and not just ye olde hard glistening abs. The actual sex scenes, though... "One deep thrust and I was no longer a virgin. The werewolf thing was going to be a little harder to get rid of." Ouch.
On the paranormal romance angle, this story is several books into a series, and you can tell. The previous protagonists are hanging around all coupled up and lovey dovey, taking up way too much page space with their cameos and rivalries and drama. And you can kinda tell the author was not prepared to write Dr. Woof as a protagonist - she forces a sudden character change from her "ice queen" personality in previous books to a warmer, funnier, more emotionally volatile persona, because judging from the ex-protagonists hanging around, that's the perspective Lori Handeland is comfortable writing from. The leader of the organization is also experiencing the same abrupt character changes as he gets more pagetime and relationships. It was pretty awkward.
How about the paranormal half of paranormal romance? Unfortunately, the werewolf science is just not much good. I can respect the virus angle... but you gotta actually say science words besides making up a cover story "studying a new strain of rabies in the wolf population" and saying "I had invented a serum that eased a werewolf's craving for human blood on the night of a full moon. As well as a counteragent that eradicated the virus if the victim was injected before their first change." For starters, these werewolves are a magic-science hybrid - they live forever, and they are indisputably Evil because they have a demon spirit of rage inside them or some shit. Not sure why the secret monster hunting organization bothered having the scientist come up with science to cure magical demon bloodlust, really. You would think they'd have a witch on staff for that. The serums and counteragents and shit are basically written as potions anyway. Anyway, the whole werewolf science thing wound up being a wash - she gets a magic wolf talisman that helps her transform effortlessly, and after having a soul-melding near-death experience she suddenly comes to terms with being a werewolf and develops the magical ability to de-woof any werewolf (virus and demon and everything). This was absolutely not what I signed up for with a werewolf scientist protagonist.
This book is another entry in the Sterile Werewolves category, incidentally. For no particular reason - they're just like "werewolves can't breed." Didn't even throw out an excuse about chromosomes. Our protagonist, Dr. Woof, is the very first born werewolf, because her pregnant mom got bitten in the stomach and went into early labor. Lycanthropy via amniotic fluid is a new one - or did the werewolf bite the placenta? No idea, it's very vague. Dr. Woof grew up perfectly human and non-evil, until falling in love in college apparently changed her body chemistry enough to turn her into a werewolf. See what I mean about the science being extremely dodgy? Anyway, I've come up with a more plausible reason why werewolves don't breed - in this book, every time a werewolf touches a werewolf, they get a strong static shock zap of "hey, that's a werewolf." I'd say there are no puppies because nobody wants to get zapped.
The really frustrating part of this book for me was the worldbuilding - so many good ideas, and absolutely no follow-through! The book says werewolves prefer to live in packs... and every werewolf in the book is alone, with no pack structure or social life. The book says real wolves and werewolves don't get along... and real wolves are never relevant to the plot. The book says werewolves and crows work together... but never shows a werewolf interacting with a crow. The book drops tantalizing hints about familiar spirits that turn human when you are a wolf... but goes into no detail. It feels like this book intended to be a way cooler werewolf book, but never dishes out more than a soundbyte of werewolf lore. There's a big dramatic reveal when Dr. Woof transforms in front of Agent Hottie and runs away, and then... they just has a conversation later when she's human, to the tune of "eh, you're still cool even if you are furry some amount of the time." He does not look her in the eyes while she is a wolf and acknowledge her humanity or his affection, or how cool werewolves are. He doesn't throw sticks for her while she's a wolf, or buy a fleacomb. I feel like if you're dating a werewolf, you gotta sign on for the whole package, you know?
Ah well. It was a good way to pass the time, and I had some entertaining conversations with my friends. Those five purple wolves never showed up and hung out with each other. A lot of things never showed up in this book. Three stars, I guess?
no subject
How do you know the protagonist's characterization has changed from earlier books in the series? It sounds like you just picked this one up on a whim but also sounds like you've read previous books in the series and I'm confused.
I should get back to work on that effortpost about werewolf themes I keep meaning to make.
no subject
"An uncommon rush of emotion caused my muscles to clench, my stomach to roil. I wasn't used to feeling anything. I prided myself on being cool, patrician, in charge: Dr. Elise Hanover, ice queen."
"Only Edward would think that I had a temper. Everyone else considered my personality one step removed from ice bitch of the universe."
"The line went silent again, and I waited for the inevitable set-down. But instead of a lecture, I was rewarded with a dry chuckle, which made my heart stutter.
"Who is this?" I demanded.
He had the heavy German accent down to a T, but there was no humor in Edward - never had been. Which was understandable. His life had not exactly been one laugh riot after another.
"What have you done with my boss?"
"It is me, Elise. I have just lightened up in my old age."
*Lightened up?*
Okay, so the world had stopped turning, and I had been too busy to notice.
"So much time with Jessie and Leigh..." I could almost see him shrug in that way he had that implied both nonchalance and Old World European manners. "They are amusing.""
no subject
no subject